See, kids…  I told you I suck at this stuff!  At least I’m trying to keep up!!

The Single Woman’s 30 Day Blogging Challenge continues with…..

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Goodness, there are so many misconceptions that I’ve come across in my singlehood, and they’re all seem to get more and more laughably infuriating.

My favorites have probably been:

What’s wrong with you?
What’s wrong with ME?! Are. You. Serious.  I think I’m freaking fantastic!  I know I’ve made mistakes and I’m sure I have probably sabotaged my fair share of relationships, but who hasn’t?  I mean, I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I know that I’m growing to be the perfect me for the right guy.

You must be too picky.
Yeah, I’m picky, but people say it like it’s a bad thing.  Is it so bad that I don’t want to settle?  Is it bad that I have high standards?  Is it bad that I don’t want to end up like my parents or anyone else who gave their all only for a marriage to end in divorce and sadness?  I want a happily ever after, not a happy 7 months.

I bet you’re so lonely.
Thanks, but I’m not.  Not really.  Not all the time.  I definitely struggle with it from time to time and struggled with it a lot in the beginning when I was newly single after being attached to different guys my entire life.  But, I’m working to get past that and I have amazing friends, a spectacular roommate, and a fantastic God who help me through it when things get tough.  Right now, with everything going on with my family, I feel it’s best to be flying solo in this life.  I wouldn’t have wanted to drag any guy through Mom’s cancer diagnosis.  I felt bad dragging my friends through it with me…

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I agree; every woman does have the exact love life that they want.  It’s human nature to fight for the things you want.  If you’re taking a backseat instead of driving your love life, then being single is really where you want to be.  I know that’s the deal with me and with a lot of the single women I know.  And, personally, I know that I have a lot of work to do before I’m ready to seriously date someone.  🙂

day 7

Day 7:  Where I Am vs Where I Thought I Would Be

Growing up, I was never the type of girl to fantasize about her dream wedding or finding her Prince Charming…  I played with Barbies.  And they fought.  All.  The.  Time.  It’s probably the reason I chose to read books instead of play pretend with dolls.  I never even wanted to carry around a baby doll.  I’m pretty sure I carried around my teddy bear and a book.  And a pacifier.  Man, I loved those things.  But I never really dreamt of what it would be like to get married…

Some of my friends have set age-related expectations for their lives.  And all of them have failed at it.  You know what I’m talking about…  I want to graduate college by 21.  I want to be engaged and married by 25.  I want by first baby by 27.  blah blah blah…  That always seemed so unrealistic to me.  I genuinely knew that the right guy would come along when the time was right.  I didn’t want to set that kind of pressure on myself.  Are you kidding?  I get test anxiety and can fail even the simplest of exams under pressure!  Imagine how I wrecked my head would be NOW if I had failed at all of those goals!  And, what about the guys I dated back then?  Not only were they SO not Mr. Right, they would have been driven batty by all of my specific timelines!!

I’ve been in several “serious” relationships.  I’ve had those “if we got married, what would our wedding be like?” talks with pretty much all of my boyfriends.  I even accepted a ring from one of them.  Another one threw an engagement ring at me after an argument (I never saw it, but I heard it was gorgeous…).  And another one said the only ring he wanted me to have was a wedding band.  That last one was a real winner.  He cheated on me and I left him maybe 4 months before we were supposed to go to Vegas and get married.  I definitely dodged a bullet there…

So, though I can say “I was supposed to be married 2 or 3 years ago”, I can also say that I’m happy I’m not married.  I’m perfectly pleased with still being single.  I know there’s a lot of work left to be done here, too.

day 8

Day 8:  My Top 5 Must Haves

Christian & Goes to a Good Church
My church is great!  If he goes there, even better!  I want him to be closer to God than I am.  I want to him to be the spirtual authority in our relationship.
Open to Adoption/Already Has Kids
My heart greives for all of the children in the world that don’t know the love of a parent.  I’ve never wanted to be pregnant, but I have always wanted to share the bottomless well of love that is my spirit with hurting children.  It’s a big reason why I’m a nanny.  I’d love to be a stepmom, too.
Good Job/Financially Stable
Money has become one of the number one reasons relationships fail.  If we’re both on the same page financially, we’ll be set!  No credit cards, no debt, etc.
Clean/Organized/Good Hygiene
I don’t want to have to remind my man to brush his teeth.  I don’t want to have to nag him to dress nice.  I want him to take pride in his appearance and in the appearance of our home.  When I work long hours cooking and cleaning and chasing after other people’s kids. I tend to let things get sloppy.  If I marry someone who tends to be more anal retentive about certain things and can help me maintain an organizational plan, we will get along fabulously and I will feel much less stressed.   I lived with a guy once who would come home from work early, pan fry hamburgers and play video games without cleaning up his mess.  The grease splatter was all over the kitchen.  It was the main a source of a lot of our arguments.  I’m just saying…
Has Hobbies like Dancing or Anything Musically Related
I’m a sucker for a good dancer.  I’ve dated guys who don’t dance and my desire to go dancing with friends (who were guys, yes) was another source of our arguments.  It would have been so much better if he would have taken me up on the lessons I offered to teach him.  It also would have been a lot easier if he had hobbies.  I mean, he had hobbies, but he didn’t do them.  His definition of the perfect relationship was for us to stay home together 24/7.  It drove me nuts!  We have to have separate activities that interest us.
I’m also a sucker for musicians or the musically inclined…  If you can dance and sing, fabulous!  If you can dance and play an instrument, even better!  =)

 

day 9

 

Day 9:  Fave Weird or Funny Single Behavior

Wow…  Well, there are a few, I suppose.  First of all, I LOVE living alone/with a female roommate.  A lot of these apply to living alone or when my roommate isn’t home.  I find I love to let my laundry pile up, but as soon as I know company is coming over I start doing laundry.  I enjoy peeing with the door open.  There are certain things I don’t like sharing…especially ice cream/snacks/treats of the sort.  I enjoy going out to eat alone with a good book….often times to end up pretending to read while people watching.  I REALLY enjoy seeing how long I can go while being quiet.  No radio, no TV, no talking, no human interaction of any kind whatsoever.

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