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Describe your worst/funniest/most embarrassing date.

I could totally write for days on the worst dates I’ve ever been on. The reason for the being because I had two very sweet, caring friends who –within months of each other– made me accounts on 2 of the free online dating sites that exist today. One friend took my phone while we were at a bar enjoying an MMA fight and a few Woodchuck Ciders and said, “I’ll make [an account] for each of us!” Then she downloaded the app and started my profile.

The next day or so, after staring blankly at the app, I finally logged in thinking “It’s worth a shot!”. I was reviewing my profile when I realized just how drunk this friend of mine had been, deleted [almost] everything and started from scratch.

Weeks later, the other girl came up to me at work, handed me a slip of paper and said, “You can thank me later.” The slip of paper had the web address, username and password written on it along with a big heart and a smiley face. Apparently, this was the same site she had met her recent sweetheart on. So, later that night, I checked it out. It wasn’t all bad…my profile, that is.

I was flooded with messages from both sites. I was floored that there were so many single guys online in the middle Tennessee area!

After weeding through and figuring out which accounts were spam and which guys didn’t just want sex, I decided to respond to some emails and see where the dialogue would go. Some of them seemed interesting enough and I agreed to meet several of them in person. There are two who fell into the category of the worst dates ever…

One guy was former military. God bless him. He was nutty. We met for frozen yogurt. He told me all about his service, his medical discharge due to mental instability, and how his wife cheated on him and left him.

As if the therapy session wasn’t enough, when we walked out of the frozen yogurt shop, he asked, “Where do you think this is going?” I asked what he meant. “Do you see yourself marrying me?”

Yep, ladies and gents. That totally happened.

I laughed and told him to have a good night. And then stayed in the front of the store while I watched him walk to his car and drive away.

The other girl friend of mine came up to me at work one day, handed me a slip of paper and said, “You can thank me later.” The slip of paper had the web address, username and password written on it along with a big heart and a smiley face.

After a few days, I caved and decided to give it a go. I met a guy who was a traveling sound tech for a musician. We went out maybe three times and every time I hoped that he would direct the conversation toward me instead of incessantly talking about himself. Nope. Not so much. Each date got progressively longer. And more boring. I don’t know why I went out with him so many times. Probably because he was a sweet guy and I liked him. And since I knew his whole entire life story, why not give him multiple chances…? Ugh. Even our phone calls and texts were all about him. At least I got an autographed photo of one of my favorite artists!

That’s probably one of my biggest pet peeves; guys talking incessantly about themselves and never asking about me. Do guys expect me to volunteer random information about myself? Is that what it’s all about these days? If so, people are going to perceive me as stuck up and cold because I don’t tend to offer up unsolicited information about myself. Especially not to strangers. Just saying.

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