As a nanny, you are responsible for a child’s life. Not just while you are with them, but forever. How you treat the child will impact their future.

And tonight I feel guilty.

I feel guilty for rushing Owen out of the Sunday school class. He had been in the nursery during first service while I attended, during second while I served and was being kept in the nursery for the first part of third because children’s church was short staffed and I was held over. My primary focus was getting him home and putting him to bed. He was an hour and a half overdue for a nap.

He brought a book to me. A book about pumpkins. He wanted to show me what he had enjoyed while I was gone. But I coldly asked him to put it back so we could go home.

I wish I would have taken a moment to enjoy what he had enjoyed. I wish I would have shown him more love in that moment.

So I feel guilty.

I think about this often. What could I have done better with this child? What should I have done differently?

My primary goal should always be to show him an immense amount of love every single second I am with him. That is what I want him to always remember: that he was loved and valued, safe and protected.

I want to be better.
I want to be a better nanny.
I will do everything I can to be a better nanny.

Tonight, I feel guilty.
Tomorrow, I will feel improvement.